he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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