Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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