sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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