dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
