paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
