I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Randomize
