I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
