yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
