I don't think brook has ever known best
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
