then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
