Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
