He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
