I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
