I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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