omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
