a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
