About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
