trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
