Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
