she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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