Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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