So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
