She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
