i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
