He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
