I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Sober January is a disaster.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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