I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
