marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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