How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
