My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
