angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
