and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
