giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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