I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
