Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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