One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
