Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
