So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
