Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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