I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
