dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
