Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
