you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
