how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
