Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
