so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
