It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
