i barfeds in our rink
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
