It's like God shit irony all over that family
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
