Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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