i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
