this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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