shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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